Find your Middle Pillar: live a life you love

“I’m having one of those days.” You’re all over the place, nothing seems to be going right, time is running away from you, you feel irritable and more reactive, you feel impatient and are being short with people, so you either don’t answer the phone when it rings because you can’t bear speaking to anyone (not even those who love you), or you find yourself bickering with your partner more than usual, you feel like picking a fight with a friend over something you’ve supressed, you’re stressed out, and everything just seems that little bit harder today. You feel kinda hard done by. You feel exhausted and lacking in motivation. Your inner roommate, the bitchy one now decides to take centre stage, and my gosh is she mean. What is this? How did I get here?

These times call you to check yourself and ask: ‘is this me?’ ‘Is this who I want to be?’ ‘How can I nurture myself to feel better?’

A lot of the conflict you have in your life exists simply because you’re not living in alignment; you’re not be being true to yourself.

– Steve Maraboli

Knowing when you are off centre

This my friends is living out of alignment. We’ve all been there. In fact, I find myself there periodically, and the thing is, while this ‘mood’ can swoop in like a tornado and turn up as quickly as it leaves… More often than not, this dark cloud moves in slowly, quietly, like a stealth operation steering clear of your self-awareness and wrapping you up in its cape, until before you realise it, you have become the dark cloud itself. This dark cloud calls itself, your lower or shadow self.

I have spent my life on this chronic rollercoaster of ups and downs, the highs are intoxicating, filled with excitement, happiness, sparks of creativity, inspiration and awe, love and joy, I smile just thinking about all these high vibrational thoughts, feelings and experiences that have me loving life and feeling ALIVE. And then there’s the fall, the lows which can often feel so dark you lose all belief in yourself, you don’t feel like doing much, the tears flow like rivers running into the past and here is where fear lives, feeding off your negativity and low vibrational feelings, here is where dreams feel small and love feels harder to hold on to, it’s a place you can feel lost in the void. It is here that you will sit doom scrolling on Instagram or TikTok for far too long, comparing yourself to others and letting negative thoughts melt into your limiting beliefs.

These may be the extremes, but for many of us, we ride between the extremes, on a similar rollercoaster to what I’ve experienced in my life, and in the midst of it all you can be left feeling misunderstood and lost. Whether, like me you’re used to the highest of highs met with the lowest of lows, or a slightly more stable version, there is always the centre of it all. At the centre you will find your MIDDLE PILLAR. I’m happy to say that I live from my Middle Pillar far more, I don’t experience the low lows anymore, I can still enjoy the highs without crashing down, I have learned to live in flow, from a place of alignment, and here is where my life began to change for the better. When I found my Middle Pillar and started living a life I love, I began following my dreams, I went sober, I began travelling the world, I made more money than ever before and I started manifesting my wildest dreams. The best part is I became my most unapologetic, authentic self, I finally met my higher self.

With the right alignment, everything you want makes its way into your experience. You are the keeper of your own gate

– Esther Hicks

Finding your way back to your centre

Your MIDDLE PILLAR is the grounding force that roots you here on earth keeping you grounded. It’s strong and unwavering, it is rooted and can weather any storm, it lasts lifetimes. When I think of mine, I visualise a corinthian column made of the finest marble in ancient Rome, beautiful and stoic and fit to weather the hardest of storms. When I think of the historical ruins around the world, these pillars still remain centuries later, it’s impressive. They carry a masculine energy, and they need some love, creativity and colour, which is where the feminine energy comes in. So when I see my Middle Pillar it has beautiful wisteria and vines weaving around it, growing towards the light. The beautiful dance of the divine balance of masculine and feminine energies coming together, the yin and yang. All of this is happening in my body, it is at my centre and each of my chakras have a home on it, beautiful lotus flowers blooming, all 7 colours of the rainbow. 

Waking up centred…picture this

1. Your alarm goes off but you don’t snooze, you jump out of bed.

2. You make your coffee/tea and you enjoy it while reading your book, listening to a podcast or doing something that brings you joy. You are NOT scrolling on social media! Your morning coffee/tea becomes a ritual, if it means waking up earlier to enjoy this time for yourself, then that’s what you do. If that voice in your head says ‘I don’t have time, I can’t’ then go to bed earlier.

3. For the meditators out there, you then follow your tea ritual with a morning meditation. You then move into the next part of your morning feeling elevated emotions such as gratitude, love and joy! It feels good, because you prioritised yourself and you’ve unlocked happy chemicals in your brain and these elevated feelings are now sending signals to your body, putting you in an altered state. Start the day as you mean to go on right? It doesn’t end here.

4. When it comes time to get ready for the day, you complete your beauty routine, it’s time to do your skincare and makeup. Speak affirmations in the mirror while applying the products to your skin and spend time feeling beautiful and worthy. Make this self-love ritual fill you with joy, rather than self-deprecating thoughts or anxiety.

5. Time to get dressed! You pick an outfit that makes you happy and you look in the mirror and think ‘this looks really nice, I look nice’. You trade in the joggers or uninspiring outfit choice that required little to zero effort and you choose an outfit that makes you feel good! Ask yourself, ‘what would my higher self wear?’ and that’s what it will be! You look and feel AMAZING!

So…You feel calm, you aren’t anxiously worrying about what might happen at work, or what someone said, or what you said that might have been misconceived…you feel peaceful and energised. This is because you are in the present moment. You set about your day with a spring in your step, listening to your favourite music or a podcast you love on your way to work, smiling at people as you go! You are productive at work, meeting those deadlines that were stressing you out and you feel accomplished. You complete a load of tasks you’ve been putting off and feel lighter.

Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance.

– Brian Tracy

You have a better day than yesterday, and you start to notice the small things around you that bring you joy. You love engaging with other people and you notice you have more capacity to hold space for others and interact without feeling drained. You feel and look brighter, and everyone around you can feel it. You are lighting up the room just by being you. The things that would irritate you when you’re out of alignment just don’t seem to bother you, because you let it go. It is here where ideas flow to you and where inspiration grows.

This to me is being in your Middle Pillar, although yours may feel and look different to this scenario above, you get the hint. You are feeling in flow, calm, radiant, productive and energised to LIVE for today. Days like these feel so lovely, and for some they can be fleeting, for others they are consistent. So the work is maintaining this centred feeling, however that looks and feels for you.

Discover your Middle Pillar

Let’s try an exercise. Take a moment to connect with your Middle Pillar.

If I asked you, what does YOUR Middle Pillar look like? What do you see? What kind of pillar is it, it could even be a tree, it could be a street light, lighting up the way for you and for others, close your eyes for a second a visualise your pillar. Then see what grows, what life makes it their home, and using your breath to weave your Middle Pillar into creation. It’s beautiful right, this beauty lives within you, it is you.

Now while this exercise is imaginative, spiritual and poetic, simply put, your Middle Pillar is your centre. If you’ve felt what stability and feeling centred feels like, it’s bliss. Life is easier, brighter, fuller and it is here that we can manifest our truest desires. It is here were we can experience mental clarity and intuition. I feel that manifestation grows here, it’s where seeds we plant can blossom and bloom and attract the light.

Live a more centred life feeling elevated emotions

Big Magic is a beautiful book about creative living beyond fear, it’s phenomenal, and if you haven’t read it yet, I recommend it. In it Elisabeth Gilbert writes “when it all comes together, the only thing you can do is bow down in gratitude, as if you have been granted an audience with the divine. Because you have” how beautiful. I feel this about finding your centre and becoming your Middle Pillar. No matter how long you spent out of alignment, be it an hour, a day, 2 weeks or 3 months. When you walk yourself back home to your centre and you find your Middle Pillar, it is divine. It is a magical reunion where your dreams are possible, you can do anything, you are magnetic, you can manifest your wildest dreams and you can live from a place where your masculine and feminine energies are swooshing around an infinity loop around your pillar. You are home and everything feel right.

This may seem a bit too deep for some, you might say “I had a bad day, get over it.” But there is more than a bad day that attributes to falling off kilter and feeling out of whack. Remember that scenario in the beginning? It can creep up on you unknowingly and it happens to us all. Reality is, we all want to experience the good days, when we actually show up as our higher self, as here is where we are more likely to feel confident to take action on building our dream lives, being the best friend, parent, employee, entrepreneur and so on. Whatever your goals are, you are more magnetic when in alignment and more likely to do the things that make you happy and create the results you want.

So what can we do to minimise the time we spend off-centre and maximise the days we feel centred?

Firstly, when you find yourself out of alignment, it’s important to accept that this is where you are at. Self-awareness is the key to getting yourself back into alignment. So give yourself a hug, and send yourself some love, it’s ok. It happens. The beautiful thing is it’s only temporary and you can find your centre again through consistently doing self-love rituals.

RITUALS. I’m not talking about gathering at stone henge on a full moon in a circle of incredible women chanting, although I would happily. I mean simple, easy and joyful rituals you can do daily in your own home, to assist you in becoming your Middle Pillar. I’m going to take you through many of them, because not one size fits all. Some things that work for me, might not work for you. In fact, I’m going to try new ones too and so I guess from this moment on, if you’d like to stick around, we can go on a journey together to enrich your inner world so you can become your higher self.

Truth is, I am my best self when I am doing my rituals consistently, because when I stop carving time out for self-care and nurturing my inner world, health, goals and dreams, that monster creeps up on me, as does fear and irritability. Quite frankly, I decided a long time ago now that I wasn’t going to neglect myself anymore. I’ve been doing rituals daily for 4 years now and they have changed my life. When I stop doing, one, some or all of them, I can feel it in my energy. It is so easy to fall out of alignment in a world that is so off centre. Rituals connect you to your Middle Pillar, protect your energy and help you connect with your intuition. When I learned rituals and began doing them consistently on my journey inwards to self-love…I became a master manifestor and I finally found the courage to follow my dreams, I finally started to weave the life of my dreams. It isn’t perfect, nor am I, but it’s the best life has ever been. I finally found myself.

I hope through reading this blog, I can inspire, motivate and empower you to step into your higher self, learn to manifest your dream life, find more confidence and learn to love yourself sister!

From my higher self to yours, 

Love B x